I am not perfect!
hmmm... kaninong istorya kaya ito?
someone's mad at me. and i don't have a clue why she is acting weird. it was probably something that i have said or done that she didn't like. as i recall all that transpired between us, everything went well until we had a meeting. it's probably something that i have said. stupid me! me and my big mouth. i'm not tactless. i dont want to blame myself. i dont understand why she was pissed off when i just said what was bothering me and that i have mentioned it to her a couple of times before. was it bacause someone else was listening? i would never ever want to humiliate her. i never meant to hurt her. i just hope and pray that she was just having one of her mood swings yesterday. (but then again she was fairly nice to everyone else except me) and that everything will be back to normal again today. or was it because she was tired of answering my stupid and senseless, unrelated questions?
i am eating chocolates at this moment. chocolates make me happy. i practically and literally drag myself from bed. because im scared of going to the office, and scared to face her. as i was preparing this morning, my mom asked me if i had a bad day at the office. i said no. am i that transparent? im not used to this feeling. i didnt have enemies at school. yesterday, i was reaching out to her. i asked her if she wanted me to buy her something at SB. and she never said anything. she just tilted her head. when i came back, i offered her sampaloc, she just tilted her head again. and when she was about to go home, she just left without asking me if i wanted to come. she normally asks me if i want to come. she even asked me one day to wait for her. i just hope she's not on SL or VL today. or i just hope that she hasn't mentioned this to any of our officemates (yet). at this moment, i am
thinking of writing a resignation letter. i can't handle this. this is too much for me. i want to scream, i want to cry, i just wish this was just one big bad dream. she's arriving in a few minutes. i think i am not ready to see her. if ever she gets nice again, i'll definitely be careful with everything that ill say and do. i am also willing to apologize for all its worth even if it turns out that it's was not my fault. but in effect ill not join her circle of friends, i won't try to get close to her again. it would all be work related nothing else. i am going to hide back to my shell again. i just hope this doesnt go on for the next year or so. God help me.
Guess what she talked to me yesterday. But it was again as ive said, work related. Before i left she was nice to me and told me that she'll help me with my new ticket. I was so happy..
I thought she realized what she was doing to me.. some of our kacubicle asked me why i was so quiet.. maybe that did it. but then again i was wrong. she's on SL today. i just realized that i should not force her to like me again. if she can't deal with me. fine. if she doesn't like me that's fine with me too... kung ayaw wag pilitin. muka naman akong tanga nun kung ganun nilalapit ko ang sarili ko sa kanya..good luck na lang sakin!